Schema Group: Cultivating Inner Balance

Is Schema Group Therapy right for you?

• Do you feel guilty or selfish for having your own needs?
• Do you find it difficult to identify and articulate what your needs are?
• Do you find it hard to set boundaries?
• Do you feel other people’s emotional pain and feel a responsibility to help?
• Do you prioritise other people’s needs over your own?
• Did you grow up believing that love is conditional?
• Do you find yourself focused on the reactions, opinions or approval of others?
• Do you experience a lot of guilt in your relationships?
• Do you struggle to get your needs or rights respected?
• Do you struggle to be assertive?
• Do you go along with what someone close to you says even if you disagree, for fear of rejection or other negative consequences?
• Do you let other people make choices for you?

If you relate to some of these questions, this group may be for you.

“Other-directedness” is one of the domains in the Schema Therapy model that includes three schemas (otherwise known as beliefs); Self-Sacrifice, Subjugation and Approval Seeking.

Jeffery Young, the Founder of Schema Therapy, explains that these three schemas are “characterized by an excessive focus on the desires, feelings, and responses of others, at the expense of one’s own needs — in order to gain love and approval, maintain one’s sense of connection, or avoid retaliation”.

People who can relate to the above questions, often grew up in families where their needs were not met or where they were punished for expressing their own needs and wants. As a result, they learned to suppress their own needs and desires in order to please others. This can lead to a number of problems, including:

• • Low self-esteem: People with other-directedness often have low self-esteem because they have never learned to value their own needs and wants.
  • Difficulties in relationships: People with other-directedness often have difficulty in relationships because they are constantly trying to please others and may not be able to assert themselves or set boundaries.
  • Low mood and anxiety: People with other-directedness are more likely to experience low mood and anxiety because they are not living in accordance with their own values and needs.

This group is designed to help you identify and challenge unhelpful core beliefs that are keeping you stuck in painful patterns, develop coping skills, and build healthier and happier relationships.