Attachment wounding happens when important emotional needs are consistently not met in childhood by our primary carers such as our parents. Attachment wounding is not about being placed in physical danger. Its less about bad things that parents do to a child, and more about the important good things that should have happened but did not. Things like parents helping the child feel loved, valued and cherished by lovingly delighting in them, nurturing and encouraging the child’s interests, preferences and opinions, and encouraging the child to express themselves. It is also about parents helping the child to build confidence in their abilities and supporting them to navigate painful emotions and make sense of them.
What attachment wounding can look like is when parents consistently shame, reject, emotionally neglect, encourage enmeshment, are chronically emotionally misatuned, disinterested, fail to repair breaks, and fail to meet emotional needs.
The severity of attachment wounding can range from mild to full-blown existential crisis.
These wounds can have a profound impact on how we form relationships, regulate emotions, and navigate the world around us. Recognizing and understanding attachment wounding is an essential step towards healing and fostering healthier connections.
The Impact of Attachment Wounding
Attachment wounding is complex and can be difficult to unpack and makes sense of.
Experiencing attachment wounding in childhood can bring anxiety, depression, emptiness, and intense despair. Often children grow up holding very powerful negative beliefs about themselves such as “I’m not good enough, I’m not lovable, I’m worthless, there is something wrong with me, I’m not capable”
These beliefs can manifest in various ways, such as; difficulty Trusting Others, low Self-Esteem, fear of Abandonment, emotional Regulation Challenges
Healing Attachment Wounds
Healing attachment wounds requires a combination of self-awareness, self-compassion, and therapeutic support.
In our three-part workshop Finding Stability and Calm we draw from EMDR therapy to introduce you to a range of resourcing strategies specifically designed to get you started on your journey of recovery from attachment wounding:
- Self-Reflection: Giving you the information and knowledge you need to understand and reflect on your early experiences and how they may have influenced your relationship patterns and mental and emotional health.
- Experiential exercises: Exercises that connect directly to your nervous system to help you find safety and calm even when emotions feel big.
- Internal Resourcing: Exercises that help you to identify and connect with strengths and internal resources you already have that can be utilise in your healing journey.
Final Thoughts
Attachment wounding is a serious and deeply impacting experience to have as a child and its legacy can be debilitating. Understanding attachment wounding is an empowering journey towards self-discovery and healing. By acknowledging and addressing our attachment wounds, we can cultivate healthier relationships, enhance emotional well-being, and create a more fulfilling life. Remember, healing is a process, and it’s never too late to embark on the path towards healing and growth.
Ready to start your therapeutic journey? connect with one of our skilled counsellors
At Centre Self Collective we offer individual counselling, couples counselling, group therapy, workshops and supervision for professionals. Follow us on our socials to keep up to date with all our new offerings coming in 2024.
Centre Self Collective is based in Brunswick, Melbourne and Daylesford. We also have telehealth options available. We are currently accepting new clients now.