Have you experienced birth trauma and feel like no one understands? Or that there is no space for you to speak about it without comments being made like “at least your baby is healthy”? These often well-meaning comments can leave a new mother feeling isolated and dismissed.
I recently joined Bronwyn on The Motherwhelm podcast with Postpartum Doula Ali Heppell to unpack the experience of birth trauma and understand how these experiences can shape our experience of early motherhood, identity and relationships. This episode provides a compassionate, nuanced, and trauma-informed exploration of birth trauma with a focus on the mother’s subjective experience.
Key insights from our conversation included:
It’s about the experience, not just the outcome.
Trauma is subjective and each person will experience birth differently. Birth trauma can occur when a person’s nervous system is overwhelmed by a perceived threat. It’s not defined by the medical outcome (“a healthy baby”) but by how the individual felt and processed the event. It could be anything that felt too much, too soon, too fast, or not enough for your body and system to process and integrate what was happening.
Trauma can stem from experiences during conception, pregnancy, birth, and postpartum.
We highlight common contributing factors that trauma often arise from in birth such as; a loss of control, a lack of informed consent, feeling powerless, disrespect from care providers, and systemic issues like obstetric violence or staff burnout.
Mothers aren’t silent about birth trauma; they are often silenced. Mothers don’t necessarily downplay their trauma—they are often met with minimization, “at least” statements, and blame, which forces them into silence to avoid being re-traumatized.
Healing begins when the story is witnessed. The single most important thing friends, family, and care providers can do is to listen without judgment, fixing, or minimizing. Simple validation like, “That sounds really hard,” “I believe you,” or “You are allowed to grieve” is profoundly powerful.
To explore these ideas further, you can listen to the episode here: Listen on Spotify.
At Centre Self Collective, we offer specialised services for pregnancy, birth and postpartum including our Birth Debrief sessions and EMDR Immersive programs for birth trauma.
Our 90-minute birth debriefing session allows you the space to make sense of your experience. Each session is tailored to what you need and includes helpful resources and skills to continue outside of the debrief. Birth debriefing is for anyone who feels they may be affected by the experience of birth. We support both individuals and couples to debrief their birth.
Additionally, our EMDR Immersive Programs provide a concentrated, evidence-based approach to this work, designed to provide a safe, compassionate space to do this work. We focus on helping you notice patterns, gently process what’s been carried for too long, and build new ways of feeling safe and worthy in the present.
If you’d like to find out whether a birth debrief or EMDR immersive program is right for you, we invite you to book an enquiry call. Hannah, our Admin and Client Support Officer, will be your first point of contact and can guide you through the next steps.
A note to end on,
Your experience is valid, no matter what the medical chart says.
You are not alone, and your story deserves to be heard.
Reach out for a 15-minute enquiry call to explore how this work might support you.