How to set New Year’s Resolutions that work

Hi everyone, we are back and so happy to be with you! We hope that you all had a safe and fulfilling year. For some the end of the year represents stress and hardship, we see you. Take a deep breath, show yourself some kindness, you got through it.  

So here we are in January, if you are anything like us you’ve set yourself dozens of New Year’s Resolutions over the years, and if your also like us then you’ve found most of them don’t stick. Why is that? 

In today’s post we are talking about goal setting, and giving you our tips on how to approach goal setting to help you stay motivated, focused and actually achieve what’s important to you.   

What is Goal Setting, and Why Does it Matter? 

When we set New Year’s Resolutions, really what we are needing to do is draw on two distinct psychological processes – goal setting and behaviour change. Goal setting and behavior change are no easy feat, as James Clear says “goal setting is not only about choosing the rewards you want to enjoy, but also the cost you are willing to pay”. Meaning that setting goals is acknowledging and being prepared to put in the work in order to achieve your goal, and this often means we need to change our behaviour in order to achieve that goal. This takes mental and physical effort, dedication, consistency and determination.  

Being clear on how to set goals and understanding what’s required to achieve those goals will set you up for success and have huge positive impacts in all areas of your life.   

There is much literature and many schools of thought and perspectives within psychology and neuroscience in particular, surrounding goal setting and behavior change. For the purpose of this post I have drawn from the work of James Clear, author of ‘Atomic Habits’, Dr Andrew Huberman, tenured professor of neurobiology and ophthalmology at Stanford university of Medicine and host of The Huberman Lab podcast, and Dr Russ Harris Medical Doctor, Psychotherapist and Life Coach’s work around Acceptance and Commitment Therapy – ACT made simple. 

How to Set Goals and Influence Behavior Change: 

  1. Set your intention; visualize what you want, go wild – journal, create a vison board, start a Pinterest board, draw or paint your vision – do whatever gets you invested in your goal, excited for the possibilities and clear about what you’d like the end result to be. 
  1. Get clear about your values; from an Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) perspective we talk alot about values; what is important to you? Who do you want to be? How do you want to show up for friends and family or at work and in your community? In ACT the belief is that our values should guide our behaviour, which helps us to live true to ourselves and our purpose and significantly increases our quality of life.  So, I encourage you to think about how your goal(s) help you to live your values? This is a really important step, because thinking about your goals in terms of your values (what’s important to you, who you want to be, what you want to represent) will increase your commitment to your goal and increase your likelihood of sustaining the changed behaviour required to achieve your goal. 
  1. Get specific; In the health field, where I come from, we love an acronym and working in the Public Mental Health system we used the SMART tool to support clients to establish goals and work towards them.  SMART stands for goals that are  Specific, Measured, Achievable, Realistic and Time-based. Using a tool like this will help you develop a plan on how to tackle achieving your goal and what steps you need to take daily, weekly, monthly to move towards achieving your goal. The tool will also help you to work out ways of measuring your progress, and by setting yourself a time-frame to work within will help you stay focused and not get side tracked.  
  1. Review your goal and progress regularly; In therapy, as a form of best practice we regularly review client goals and their progress with our clients. This is so important because it gives you the opportunity to honestly reflect on how you are going. Are the things you’re doing actively helping you to achieve your goal? You may need to re-evaluate your goal or the steps you are taking to achieve your goal. This is not a failure, in fact this is very important information for you to make informed choices which will help you achieve your goals and greatly improve your quality of life in the long run. To make this step even more powerful, invite a friend or family member to be a part of this process. According to Dr Huberman, a central feature of goal attainment is actually fear of the consequences of not achieving the goal. So including an element of accountability may provide the drive and determination to stick with your goal- even when the going gets tough.  
  1. Celebrate the wins: Life is all about the journey. Take the time to stop and reflect on your progress and celebrate the wins, little or big. Have fun, shower yourself with gratitude and kindness, be your own biggest cheer leader. 

# Tips and Reminders for Setting Goals and influencing Behavior Change 

  1. Get clear on your values; ask yourself these questions.  

By Dr Russ Harris ACT Made Simple 

  • What makes you feel proud, accomplished or fulfilled? 
  • What do you do for fun, leisure, relaxation, entertainment, creativity? 
  • When do you experience a sense of belonging, being fully alive, doing something important, connecting deeply with someone or something? 
  • When are you at your best in your relationships with family and friends, or at work? What are you like to be around, at those times?  
  • How do you treat others? How do you treat yourself? 
  • Who do you look up to, or respect or admire? What do you like about their personal qualities, their personality? What are they like as a person? What do they stand for? If you had to choose two or three words to describe their best attributes, what words would you use? Think – are these the qualities you would like to bring into your own life? 
  1. Use journals or goal diaries to document your journey.  

Get organised, write things down and keep track of your progress. There are lots of great journals or goal journals out there, they may be a great tool to help you stay organised and on track with your goals.  

  1. Consider including some accountability by asking a friend of family member to be across your journey and know what you are hoping to achieve.  

This might seem a little scary and exposing, but fear is actually an incredible motivator and may just be what you need to keep on track.  

Need Help? 

Setting New Year’s Resolutions that work are really about setting clear goals and understanding the level of behaviour change required to achieve those goals. That takes considerable effort, dedication, consistency and determination. Set yourself up for success by setting your intention, getting clear on your values which will inform effective goals and help you stay committed to behaviour change, use the SMART tool to help you get specific on your goal and create a plan for monitoring and evaluating progress, review regularity and celebrate your progress.  

If you are keen to learn more about goal setting, I would recommend Atomic Habits by James Clear.  

If you feel stuck, a therapist can help you explore your values and set goals. We have telehealth appointments available with our clinician’s and you can book in via the Book Appointment tab on our website.  

Until next time – happy goal setting.

Tamera x